Divorce Was My Biggest Financial Setback

Divorce Financial Planning

My financial health issues started right after my husband filed for divorce. I never imagined we would ever separate, but as years went by. I felt our marriage was toxic, and we needed space. What most people don’t know when getting into the marriage is that leaving affects a huge part of your life. Divorce attach various aspects such as emotions and finances. The kid’s part is hectic as you need to co-parent, there are mandatory funds for the children and a lot of stress which you need to bear.

My Divorce Proceeding

My divorce proceeding took about 13 months. First, we separated, and I left with the children with only a suitcase and a few dollars in my account. I wanted a completely new life for my children and me. So we moved to a new state, no job, no apartments, and new to the state’s culture. I took a small apartment (10 by 12 room) it had a bed, tiny cooking area the bathroom and toilet were attached. It was better for a start since my finances couldn’t fit a bigger apartment.

Next, I enrolled my children in a public school which was few meters from our house. The challenge was the culture and language barrier. However, they adopted me, and I also got a job in a meat factory. It wasn’t in my line of study, but I had to get a job and sustain my family. After few months, my ex-husband and I started costly divorce proceedings. I had to get an attorney to help me get child security funds and child custody. Amazingly my husband didn’t want to have the kids at all, and automatically I was granted the children’s custody. However, he was instructed to visit them three weeks a year.

The challenging part was the financial and assets division. My ex-husband had highly paid his lawyer to claim that he doesn’t have any assets or financial ability to support us. This hit hard since we had acquired so much during our seven years marriage. We had constant income from several platforms. I have never comprehended, but no assets were in his name. The court ruled for him to fund the children’s school needs, and I was left with the rest of the burden.

I had to be strong for my children, but deep down, I was devastated. I had no stable income; all the bills were on my neck, and my children’s life entirely depended on me. I suck into credit debts, mobile app loans, and bank loans friend’s loans to make adjustments in our lives. This never healed anything as it piled more issues. I also had to move to different towns seeking a better life, which negatively affected my children, especially my education. However, my move introduced me to a wonderful lady who listened to my story and helped me join an organization. Which assists divorced women and widows get back to their feet.

Divorce Financial Planning
Divorce Financial Planning

My Financial Comeback

Small and smart

Before meeting my guardian angel, I tried to work around all the matters, pay the debt using other debts, and get back to the same financial level and not frustrate my children. However, it wasn’t working and cause my injury to my credit history. With help, I was taught to start small and work intelligently. We decided to set small achievable goals. I stop focusing on paying the whole credit card balance. I started investing part of my salary and working two jobs. My new job was set to pay debts and sustain house needs. The next, I saved and ventured into financial investment schemes and the share market. The organization was kind to help all women earn from the stock market. We all contributed funds, and the organization would trade on our behalf. With time my debts we reducing, and my credit card history was improving.

No extra spending

This aspect required teamwork. My children and I were together to ensure we are out of debt and financially stable. We gave up extra spending or spending on unnecessary stuff. No buying new clothes, no eating out, and other simple luxuries. This helped save more and direct the funds to either debts or savings.


Although we didn’t spend on luxuries, I knew my children needed their childhood memories. I used to redeem my travel points or shopping points for something they love. I also allowed them to spend with their parents to ensure they move and see the world. Suppose we travel I didn’t spend on hotels but would request friends to host us for few days.

Positivity in finances

During divorce and after divorce, it’s easy to sink into depression. This deprives you of the ability to build your life and finances. However, you can overcome this by having a positive mindset about your whole journey. To beat the bad days, I acquired a habit of writing my achievements, any bill I paid, my credit card improvements, my children’s accomplishments. Whenever I felt like giving up, I would refer to my journal and see how far I have made it and what I am focusing on getting.

New income sources

Besides the share market and saving from my jobs. I was able to get other independent ways to earn. I did online courses and also got online jobs which earn me extra income. Now I had multiple channels and comfortable introducing new aspects for my children. I took them to better schools and moved to a bigger apartment.

My Advice to Women or Men going through a divorce

My divorce didn’t flow well, especially on the finance and asset part. I felt conned by my ex-husband though it doesn’t hurt now. I am debt-free and doing very well in life. Today I have multiple incomes, and also I dedicate time to help people going through divorces. I don’t discriminate since it can affect men too. However, it would be best if you prepared financially to avoid some mistakes I made.

Collect all the financial inventories

In my case, I didn’t have any evidence to show to the court about our spending or finances we possessed? My husband we clever enough to change his name and have no financial record. First, take photos of your bills, paycheck, credit card statements, mortgage statement, any investment you have with your partner.

Suppose your husband crafts like my ex-husband and hides the finance details. Write down every debt or asset you have. Your lawyer will request the court to get financial disclosure to avoid bearing all the debts.

Separate your Accounts

Spouses with joint accounts should split the accounts. In case you have joint loans ensure you get a half-half share. Suppose your partner applied for a loan and doesn’t want to pay. Ensure to table the issue to help keep your credit card history positive.

Have proper plans

Don’t just leave without a plan once you have all the financial documents. Now plan where you’re going to live. Who will take care of the children and all the financial needs? In my case, my children were already my problem to handle. I am glad I didn’t argue; now we have made it and going strong.

Legal fees

Legal fees in a divorce take the most of your finances. It’s good to prepare psychologically and financially. Don’t just settle for any attorney; research on their experience and also payment plans.

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